Mark 12:28b-34
One of the scribes came to Jesus and asked him,
"Which is the first of all the commandments?"
Jesus replied, "The first is this:
Hear, O Israel!
The Lord our God is Lord alone!
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
with all your soul,
with all your mind,
and with all your strength.
The second is this:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
There is no other commandment greater than these."
The scribe said to him, "Well said, teacher.
You are right in saying,
'He is One and there is no other than he.'
And 'to love him with all your heart,
with all your understanding,
with all your strength,
and to love your neighbor as yourself'
is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."
And when Jesus saw that he answered with understanding,
he said to him,
"You are not far from the kingdom of God."
And no one dared to ask him any more questions.
What do I remember most from this reading?
The phrase "You are not far from the kingdom of God." leaps out at me from this passage. Jesus, speaking to this scribe...who holds roughly the same place as a lawyer in our society (and we all know how we look upon most of the people of that profession)...not only acknowledges this man as speaking from wisdom, but also as being in that moment near to attaining the goal of so many of us: sainthood. Those in the Kingdom of God have reached the goal, they have ran the race, and have heard the words I personally long to hear: "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
What would I feel at hearing these words from our Lord? Would I leap for joy, knowing that I am pleasing in the sight of my God? Would my self doubt lead me to feel unworthy? Would I shrink from such praise from one so honored or would I stand tall knowing that, at least for the moment, I grasp what is being presented to me in the light and context of my savior?
How does this relate to my current situation on my path towards the Kingdom?
I personally struggle with crippling self doubt. I find myself not only having to confess the same sins time after time, but I also find myself having to confess that I don't feel worthy of being forgiven after receiving the sacrament of reconciliation My own self worth is one of my greatest challenges and one of my biggest stumbling blocks on my path towards heaven.
Yet, here I am feeling insignificant and of no worth, yet here is one who in their very nature and existence was one who was part of the group preached against by Jesus himself as a poison to the faith of the people of God...one who was a Scribe: a man of the letter or the Law who failed time and again to grasp the Spirit behind the law...here is a man such as this who one might argue is worse off than I who is able to not only be touched by the Holy Spirit and given the gift of Wisdom, but who also can stand in the sight of Jesus and be pleasing.
This hope that this gives me, a man who struggles with himself yet tries to do the will of the One who made him, touches me deeply. Perhaps even as broken and lowly as I am I may indeed one day find myself at the end of this path I am on standing at the narrow gate and hearing the words "Well done my good and faithful servant."
How does this call me better myself?
I feel called to continue to pursue my faith and it's strengthening. I plan on doing this by continuing to attend mass at every opportunity (our parish offers daily mass three days a week, which Brandy and I attend). I will renew my commitment to serving God. I will also set aside more time to dive deeper into His Word, and into the words of those who have gone before us in an attempt to deepen and strengthen my faith. And, of course, I will continue to pray.
Merciful God,
You sent us your Son to redeem us
and lead us back to our heaven home.
Forgive my weakness. Forgive me for my lack of faith.
Strengthen me by your Holy Spirit, O Lord,
that my answer to you when you call will always be "Yes".
Not only in the times of plenty, but also in the times of struggle.
For you are Love, eternal and filling.
I ask this in the name of your Son, Jesus,
who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit.
One God, forever and ever.
Amen.
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